"Bad dates"

"dates, you eat `em"

i went to a habatchi grill place last night and i think they tried to kill me, cause im a round eye devil. the chicken tasted off and rubbery...i should have left after they tried to feed me zuccinni chunks by flinging them across a hot grill into my mouth.

a tree fell on my parents car in a parking lot and all they could do was laugh.

i realized why my job is ass hole...it always starts on a lie...
the lie;
customer #1 - how are you this morning
christopher - I'm good, how are you
customer #1 - good, thank you....

and it goes on from there

the truth;
customer #2 - good morning how ya been
christopher - well i fell like shit..i ate some bad chicken and i spent last night vomiting and when i wasnt vomiting i was shiting....so how can i help you today
customer #2 - i need an oil change and a loaner car...oh and i have a coupon for my oil change...and there are some rattles and im having some issues that should be covered under warrany some squeeks and rattles and a problem with my navigation screen and my seat heaters arent working...my ass is cold.

sorry to vent.

mitch hedberg was a fantastic comic...i cant believe this.