"wait a minute i fucking hate harlow..."

wow chris thats two david cross quotes in two consecutive posts..whats next? "thats what david cross does, hes a dog fucker"

any way i just got tiered of looking at the last post (19 comments is enough)! its snowy white here and kinda dead at work so im like checking every 15 minutes...ha

seen a few good movies lately so keep an eye out for films of doom

i recently learned that girls poop...wow. i still dont believe it i thought they just puked like a fly or something...besides girls vomiting is much sexier than girls pooping "she's so cute vomiting...thats how she keeps her figure" ah belimia. girls cant poop! i wont allow it...they do enought gross things down there, i just cant handle it.

"i dont trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesnt die"

"there square muther-fuck"

man pennsylvania is long...
it was well worth the trip, being pulled over twice, once in indiana for go too fast (85mph) and once on the way back in ohio for going too slow (60mph in a 65...i was pulling out of a rest stop and taking off my coat as a cop came up behind me)
my car alarm you know the one i didnt know i had...it started to go off at a rest stop some where in eastern indiana so i pulled a macgyver and tore it out...ok so maybe it wasnt a macgyver move, more like the incredible hulk.

after that kind of lone drive you have no idea how good a futon in iowa looks or how comfertable it is...and for that matter on the the trip back a single sized bed in a girls dorm new brunswick new jersy looks (it looks sexy, thats how it looks muther-fuck)

lets drink, drink this town is so great...
so whats the first thing i did in iowa city, oh i dont know have a beer.
hamburg inn had a pretty decent burger and really good fries it felt like i was going over to a friends house to play and his mother made us lunch...
hey theres a guitar shop...wanna go smell?
NAP!!
drinks and pool at joes place
boondock saints in room 27(?) on the projecter...cool to see on the screen like that ...chairs majorly uncomfertable after an hour and half
sleep...i just couldnt take any more conciousness

Sat-er day
no squagel, no eggs
hoover ball - nuts 8 people, hoover ball keep away hoover ball elimination (my team won) ultimate hoover ball (mix between ultimate frisby, rugby and football - my team also won, however no goals scored by yours truely)
so whats next after an intense cardio work out (it was excellent but it wasnt sexcellent if you catch my meaning ok ok it wasnt as good as sex but it was very fucking close)
pizza and beer. odd mixes of blue moon and guinness. cheese burger in paridise is nuts just fucking crazy leetuce, picles and onions on a pizza? thats just not right.

who would win in a fight
whisky or vodka
rum or tequila
almond sliver/slices or crasians
lobo or wolverine

ok so how about some macgyver?
watched macgyver on the big screen (saved the ant attack episode for miss schalk)
magnum PI came to the conclusion that as much as we (me and jay) love macgyver magnum is a much better put together show
lots more guinness at joes
ill mannered jukebox
i think another cuple episodes of magnum but i fell asleep

do you want these 3 hour old eggs?
NO! and you dont have anymore squagels again!!
million dollar baby - sorry have not reviewed movies in while...no one cares anyway
cds cds cds
bennigains - half assed irish themed chain resturant, not bad again outstanding fries

"that'll be 80 bucks for the tow"..
time saving genuis i am thought i would pull off to the side of the road to piss. i wound up sliding into a ditch- fuck
some good hearted goober trucker pulled off and got stuck as well then saw he could do nothing but pull off my bumper drove away and took out a huge fucking sign in wich i was going to put under my tires to get some traction but before i could make it over there a cop pulled up and called a tow truck to pull me out. now i must say that cops in other states are much nicer and have your best intrists in mind (most of the time) and that long island and jersey cops are total dicks.

the new quicker stop of the future...
made a quick visit and nap in jersey to spend time with my baby...and talk about how we dont talk any more. good make outness and such
nasty cold fries and upset stomachs


sloth
home to a screaming lauren and a lauging scott....lauren thought i was scotts stalker and i had broken in...they convinced me to watch a movie with them in scotts room and have a few beers ....turned out to be a pajama fest....had to make up for two lost roommate nights
watched the end of dark city and the first half of seven.

what a great few days....

check

things to bring on 15 & 1/2 hour road trip (straight)

red bull - plenty
water
snacks
no-doz
monster mix cd (3 disc)
richard pryer "super nigger"
"garden state" soundtrack
toothbrush
4 (at least) packs of winston lights
whiskey

look out iowa here i come

Busy little bees

so everyone has been really busy lately...not me. just back and forth to work and new jersey
thusday night i leave for iowa...to see one of my favorite men cant wait to drink with that "penil dry heave"
wish noah pete and mark were coming too but eh, so be it we will have ass loads of fun.

work is lame....people are lame...found an add for a bi-sexual escort service in one of my loaner cars with a picture of some lame gross dude half naked on it...gross. all sorts of news paper scraps and hair extensions whats with these people.

I think if someone offered me coke i might try it...as long as theres jack daniels in it

brains...brains

scott, chris and lauren are sitting on the torn up leather couches watching a slasher flick "friday the thirteenth" or "holloween" well something to the like. just as a topless teen screams the window brakes and scott is pulled out side trough the window by a half decomposed body...a zombie if you will another zombie bites and claws at lauren. chris takes a swig of his Guinness and lights a Winston "eh, i told them this house was vulnerable to zombie attack"

i did, i told them plenty of times all the windows the flimsy doors
what the fuck am i supposed to do if there is a zombie attack...thirsty for my brain juice.

ummm....yea

umm yea so i think im gonna get trashed tonight.

ou sont

suprised kala last night at her dorm with a dozen roses...alas she was still at rehersal so lesley had to let me in....but when she got there the screaming and hollering was beyond belief
good meaty and beery dinner, ice cream at a comic (book) cafe..
fender bender :(
all is alright

spilt red bull on my pants on the way to work this morning....i think we souldnt open till 9:00 and close at 4:30 my life would be a lot more restful

so now that the stuper bowl is over the real sports competition can begain! go ireland!!

scott...i think about you when i go to the bathroom

i came home after a long stupid day last night to see my living room completely re-arranged and spotless...my movies returned to semi-alpha beta-cal order and a new "party wall" with pics from our previous partys...scott youve redeemed all the trouble you caused by inviting elvis to live with us. elvis by the way is on a short sabbatical in the dominican republic. yay! to being able to sit on the couch and turn on the light to see in the morning.

Wait

mushy snow makes me fall
on my ass
and my knee

dont argue with me if the issues
have already been resolved

uuuuuuuuuu

something soft

"sing me something soft sad and elegant or loud and out of key, sing me anything"

yea...girls have it easy man, no one has ever written a song about me

so anyway where has mark been..ever since lou years i have not spoke to that handsome speciman...i guess ill try to call him tonight.

roommate night; every thursday is roommate lets get drunk night...but first lets watch the o.c. every sunday is lets get drunk and watch movies all day-day. i am quickly becoming? an alcohalic....fuck my liver that little bastard just sits there all day mocking me.

fuck the irs

what a bunch of cock suckers! $2,500 i owe in taxes why? why fuckers?!
so needless to say my trip to the homeland must be postponed to a later date
a look on the bright side? perhaps now i can better plan my trip.
and i was so looking foward to drinking guinness right out of the brewery.